It was about this time last year I had my stroke and I’ve lost and gained a lot these past 365-like days. I know I’ve temporally lost my independence the use of my left arm, my independence, my self confidence, my sight (at times)about 20 or so pounds it’s the stroke survivor/vegetarian diet( only I can make that joke) people may treat me "wierd" or think I'm disabled. But,it almost seems worth it with the things I know I’ve gained forever a deeper, stronger, and real relationships with Christ and with family and friends, an unreal peace, stronger faith in Him and knowing that He will heal me completely.I look at my life a year or so ago and see how much I have changed not only psychically but, spiritually emotionally, and mentally. I sometimes think and say, “I’ve lost a year of my life recovering from this stroke.” I've said that twice once to my psychical therapist, Judy and she said,"You did not lose a year you’re taking a small detour to get yourself back together” I also said it to my friend Reese and she said something very similar to Judy she said,“You haven’t lost a year,you’ve gained a new life of possibilities." Both the things they said are true and mean a lot to me. During this “detour” and some of the endless possibilities God is showing me and doing amazing things in my life. I know that God is not only restoring my health completely He is obviously restoring me spiritually emotionally, and mentally. At the time in my life when I had my stroke I’ll spare you the details and say I was at a place where God could not reach me. He didn’t give me this stroke to punish me. I believe He did it for several reasons:
1. To stop me from continuing to ruin my life
2. To show me His power, grace, mercy, love, peace, and understanding.
3. To humble me and my spirit on different levels
4. To softened my heart to the elderly (my people) and the disabled.
5. He allowed me to experience both good and bad things that will change my life and can use to minister to others.
Those five things are just the very start of what God is doing, did, and the amazing things He will do.I’ve also learned are that I can not settle where I may be physically or where I'm at with my recovery and have the faith that God willcontiue heal completely me also do the work that goes along with stroke recovery. I’m learning not to accept the negative or short-sighted things people see or say to me about or my stroke recovery. In the same way not to accept what I see in front of me and have “eyes of faith” that God will continue to do His work in me and fulfill His promises and do unorthodox things with faith and works! (Read Hebrews 11) I will have to admit this journey is not always easy. I have gone through things psychically that someone my age should not go through. I’ve experienced all sorts of rejection, loneliness, anger, doubt, humiliation, stress and heartache. But, I know as I’ve mentioned before God is not putting me through this for nothing. I believe is preparing me for something great and He will not put us through something we could not handle James 1:2-4,5:7-10. As German philosopher Nietzsche said, “What does not kill me makes me stronger”applies to my life. I may have bad days but,if I and others continue to hold on to God, His blessings, His word, and never failing promises we will see great things happen!
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