Things I've learned from television and movies.

I’ve watched quite a bit of television and a decent amount of movies growing up these are things I’ve learned from them:

1. A knock on the head can make someone lose or regain their memory
2. Giving an emotional speech in court or to someone you have feelings
for will always work in your favor.
3. If it's not in the rulebook an animal can play on any sports team.
4. Babies are born in less than a hour and with a full head of hair.
5. Having two dates on the same night can be tricky but,can pulled off.
6. There just may be a long lost cousin you don't know about.
7. Just about anyone can fire a gun with near perfect accuracy.
8. The housekeeper can give good advice or funny one-liners.
9. You can make a radio out of a coconut.
10. A superstar athlete or celebrity can always give you advice on a particular problem because they went through the same thing.
11. Hair brain schemes just seem to work.
12.Don't underestimate nerds.
13. There is a good chance your next door neighbor will be wacky and or intrusive.
14. A mad dash to the airport can save any relationship.
15. Unconventional methods of training can have positive results.
16. You can scare a group of teens and a talking dog with trick
lighting, mirrors, and a rubber mask
17.There are bad Russians and good Russians.


18. The evil twin has a goatee or an eye patch if we're lucky both.
19. If there is no Santa then there is no Christmas
20.Pairing complete opposite detectives somehow works.
21. If there’s a rag tag group of misfits in a police department or sports team they can always over come any odds.
22. People from the future are bald and wear trench coats.
23. Cousins can be twins.
24. In the future there will be flying cars and robots lots of robots.
25. If you're a free spirited teen with an uptight over worked parent be careful you may switch bodies.
26. You can drag around a dead body and have people think it's still alive but, only for about a weekend.
27. If your car can talk it's either inhabited by the spirit of your dead mother or your sound advice giving partner that has a charming
English accent.
28. Just because he's a kid doesn’t mean he can't be a doctor.
29. A catch phrase never hurts.
30. One man can take out a whole army of bad guys.
31. If your family needs money for something there will be a singing contest where prize is that exact amount.
32. If there is a “will they won't they?" relationship trust me they will.
33. One hand clap after a moving speech or event can start a wave of applause.
34. If a detective knows one more thing, you're busted.
35. Whatever you do don't go alone to checkout that noise.
36.Don't hire these guys

37.You can reach most people at 555-4909
38. Time machines can be Deloerans, phone booths,and hot tubs.
39. Dogs and cats are sworn enemies.The same can be said about cats and mice.
40. Some doctors and scientists are the most attractive people.
41. If you’re a free-wheeling bachelor there is a chance kid will show up claim that you’re their father.
42. A detective can be teamed up with a dog, a kid, or someone who is their complete opposite.
43. During prehistoric times they have all the modern appliances we have now but, they’re just wise cracking animals.
44. You can build a robot child just be prepared for a lot of mix ups and misunderstandings because it will not compute.
45.I would avoid eating Soylent Green, trust me on this one.
46.If things are getting boring don't worry a cute kid will show up to make things fun again
47.If you and your friends start a band please don't cover any Ace of Base songs.
48.One day you'll wake up and realize that Bed and Breakfast you ran was a only a dream.
49.If there's a slight mix up or misunderstanding hilarity will always ensue.
50.If you don’t understand something don’t worry Clarissa explains it all.
51.In the future there are no roads.
52.Don't bother competing against Parker Lewis because he can't loose.
53. Brothers can have same name such as Daryl or Pete.
54. Aliens most likely want phone home, be taken to our leader, eat our cats, or want to take over the world.
55. There's a kid that can smell ice cream.
56.You can be safe from an explosion that is a few yards behind you.
57. If you get a pet that multiplies in water and you can't feed after midnight is not worth having.
59. If you back in time(there's a good chance you will) be careful what you do because it can effect the space time continuum.
60. If this guy shows up your show is doomed
61. It doesn't hurt to double check your toilet for bombs

NOTE: This a satire please don't take this too seriously.
If you want you can point out which television show or movie I've referenced.

My Top Stand out Films

These are 21 films that have stood out to me since 1992. I got the idea from a friend it was long but,fun process so here they are:
1.Bottle Rocket(1996)/ Rushmore(1998)- I’m a sucker for Wes Anderson I love his attention to the smallest details, his use of music, the use of rectangles in most shots theses are really his best two films he got kind of sloppy after The Royal Tenenbaums.
2. High Fidelity (2000) – Stephen Fears translates Nick Hornsby book into near perfection. I love this film as a music snob, mix tape maker, and,a record collector you can say it mirrored my life at one time.
3.Spirited Away (2001) - I’ve never been emotionally invested into an animated film until this one.
4.Fargo (1996) - I love the Coen Brothers and I like how the characters “step in it and walk all over the carpet” and spend most of the time trying to clean it only making matters worse.
5.Dazed and Confused(1995)- One of the best high school movies made Linklater captured both the essence of high school angst from burn outs and the late 70’s.It also has Matthew McConughey’s one role only worth watching.The soundtrack is awesome 70's rock without being trite.
6.Reality Bites (1994) - I always thought Ben Stiller made better stuff in the 90’s before he had his teeth fixed. I like the mockery of ironic 70’s and 80’s pop culture, and truth be told I had a thing for Wionna Ryder.
7.Crooklyn (1996) - Spike Lee’s last great film I didn’t grow up in 1970’s Brooklyn (my family did) after seeing this film I felt like I did. More films need soundtracks that transplant you to the era were set in.
8.Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995) - Todd Solondz and Heather Matarazzo show us being the awkward middle child can sometimes suck.
9.Lost in Translation (2003) - I enjoyed Virgin Suicides just as much but, Lost in Translation hit me at the right time. Fueled by Bill Murray’s subtle comical performance, Sofia Coppola delivered a solid picture for her sophomore effort. The physical and emotional unavailability of spouses, words left unspoken, life’s missing purpose, an “affair” devoid of sex—absence is the looming presence here. Lost in Translation is a testament to the power of a raised eyebrow, a gentle touch and a parting whisper.
10. Requiem for a Dream (2000) - If you still abuse perception or illegal drugs after seeing this movie you need help.
11.Jump Tomorrow(2001)- starring TV on the Radio’s front man Tunde Adeimpe stars as a young Nigerian man on the verge of being in an arranged marriage, suddenly questions his situation after an encounter with a stunning Latin woman, who is also about to be married. There is also a fun cameo from funny lady Amy Sedaris.
12.Election (1999) - Politics are dirty even in high school.
13.Ghost World (2001) - I’m not really into comic book movies but, this is a good translation of Daniel Clowes graphic novel.
14.Waiting for Guffman (1996) - I was in high school theater for 4yrs and I’ve done both professional and local theater Christopher Guest and company nail everything about it in this hilarious film.
15.Lords of Dogtown (2005) - Great film version of Stacey Peralta’s documentary on skate boarding Dogtown and Z-Boys. The film had great performances by Heath Ledger and Emile Hirsch as bad boy Jay Adams. A must see for any skate kid out there.
16.Afro Punk (2003) - An honest documentary about being minority inside minority community. If have ever been the only the minority at a show for a band this is for you. I saw this in the back room at the Black Cat in 2004; I was only black guy there.
17. Being John Malovich (1999) - Ever wonder what it’s like being John Malovich? Video director Spike Jonez and writer Charlie Kaufman gives us a fun look how in their first film together.
18. Pan’s Labyrinth(2006)- Fantasy or a thriller whatever you want to call it, is generally not my thing but, Guillermo del Toro painted a picture that took me to a place of wonder and awe, when I was done watching I wanted to watch it again so I could go back.
19.Boyz in the Hood (1991) - I know it’s from 91 but, Singleton gives us a look into South Central L.A. without being too tacky or patronizing. Although, it has a rapper (Ice Cube) in it there is no hip-hop theme to it just real life in South Central L.A.
20. Ghost Dog: Way of the Samurai (1999) - Jim Jarmusch never really makes the same film twice. Forest Whitaker nails the part of the perfect of the anti-hero.He's a hit man that follows the way of the traditional samurai and is soon faced with a dilemma that will challenge his traditional samurai teaching. If you blink who’ll miss a quick cameo from Wu- Tang Clan’s RZA.
21.The Big Lebowski (1998) - Another Coen brother’s film? I love this so much Jeff Bridges should have been nominated as the “Dude” an easy going guy who craves the occasional White Russian that tries to abide and bowl after a case of mistaken identity.
Honorable mentions:
Malcolm X (1992) Beastie Boys’Awesome I F***king Shot That (2005), Casino(1995), Cable Guy (1996 ,24 Hour Party People (2002)Office Space(1999),) Persepolis(2007 ), Kids (1995),City of God(2004), The Squid and the Whale (2006), American Splendor(2003),Ed Wood (1994),Almost Famous(2000),Shaun of the Dead,(2004)Big Fan(2009)

What films stood out for you? I want to hear your feed back!