The things I lost and the things I have gained part 2: Wrapping up

After three times a week for a year I finished my last bit of occupational therapy this week I had already finished physical therapy and a touch a speech therapy a few months ago. I also did a stint in cardiac rehab again for 3 months. Now, this is all I did for a year! I don’t know how I feel about the whole thing I guess you could say I’m apathetic about it. I’m not where I thought was going to be or want to be physically I still need to do arm exercises at home to regain strength and full use I do a ton of walking for my leg around my neighborhood or the mall (it’s walking distance from my house) I do get really frustrated being able to only use one arm to do everything however, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. But, this is not the life I want it’s like being trapped in your on body. I’ve been like this for a year. Sometimes I think people who haven’t had a stroke don’t realize how hard it is to give up your independence or give up the simple things you like to do. You quickly realize how much you took that stuff for granted and you want nothing more to do those boring mundane things again. I do look back and see how far I’ve come physically and I’m kinda impressed. There are things about this stroke I hate with in reason aside from all the physical set backs and disappointments. There is the emotional and personal stuff I deal with on a day to day level. I’ll talk to a few people I knew pre-stroke and when they’re not patronizing me or making awkward and phony conversation they’re treating me like as if a stroke is contagious (it’s not trust me.) they basically treat me kind of “wired”. Someone said to me,” Maybe they don’t know how to deal with it” well, that’s good if I was caught stealing from Claire’s or something. But, I’m the one that had the “tragedy” and I 'm the one who is dealing with the "pain"! Treat me the same way you did before June 17th 2007.With all that whining aside from this stroke I’m learning to adjust and move on. I used to think the phrase “count your blessings” was nothing more that tacky sentimental stuff you say to someone you don’t want to deal with. But, now I’m like,” Yeah, that makes sense in a way” I’m able to work at a job that you can do with one hand.(and watch movies) I have the support of my family a few key friends. Going through this has forced me to “grow up” emotionally and learning how to deal with things better. I’ve meet some wonderful people during this whole thing I’m learning the fine art of humility. I’ve learned what a church isn’t and what one is the same could be said about friends or relationships .A part of me is like, “ those are things I’m having to settle on” but, the truth is those are things that are helping me to recover from everything this past year. I have a strong feeling that all what I’m going through will be wrapping up very soon. And I need people as well as myself to continue to have absolute faith in God without any doubt that He will restore me back to good health! My stroke has been all I’ve known for a year it has been both a setback and advancement for me. But, I’m looking forward to the next thing in my life that will advance me to greater things as all this is wrapping up.