I can say that I have a black friend

Tonight, the Democratic Party nominated the first African American to lead a major political party in the United States. Tomorrow, he will formally accept the nomination on the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King's I Have a Dream speech. For those of you who think that these events will magically wipe out years of racial ignorance or just flat-out racism, I give you some examples why that isn’t so. I was with some old “friends” earlier this year and the touchy topic of politics came up. One of them said,” I like my president old and white, that’s how it should be.” I guess he forgot I was black or can hear and understand English. It amazes me what people will think is acceptable. I've had people (mainly white) tell me that you speak so articulately which is not the complement you think it is. I don’t know how to speak any other way I’ve had this speech pattern for 30 yrs now.How am I supposed to sound like a character in a Blaxploitation film? I guess I could try to slang it up or use a “blackcent” (black accent) I’d only sound goofy. When I worked at Borders this guy would be embarrassed and upset by the corporate sells lady who is black and spoke with a “blackcent” (according to him) to customers which he thought could hurt sells (I don’t know why he cared we never saw that money) He would voice these complaints to me! What was I supposed to do work a My Fair Lady thing on her? I’m no Professor Henry Higgins (Rex Harrison). When I was younger, people used to come up to me and ask if they could touch my hair because they never felt a black person's hair before! (really?) I've had people tell me that I can't be completely black because I'm smart and I because love stuff like French films and Brian Eno (not together).Even when I was in high school I dressed in colorful and "non black” clothing with skate shoes and shirts. I also listened to a lot of alternative music.I was made fun for those thing druring my time at Hammond High most by black people. Now, when I’m at the mall I see young black kids dressing the same as I did with their skateboards also rappers are crossing genres in a non ironic or patronizing way. (if you can sample a song Can you’re golden).It's weird growing up and even now I'm normally the only other black guy at a show or boring French Film sometimes people give me a look saying," what is he doing here?" when I was younger I thought I had to prove myself that I belonged there or something. The idea of Black people in America is changing for the better with the help of Barack Obama and his lovely wife and countless others that just live not in the mold the media or society but has placed us in for years But, they're living as good honest people regardless of race ,is'nt that America is about? But,we are a strong people we will over come any negativity with our blend of positivity!

The things I lost and the things I have gained part 2: Wrapping up

After three times a week for a year I finished my last bit of occupational therapy this week I had already finished physical therapy and a touch a speech therapy a few months ago. I also did a stint in cardiac rehab again for 3 months. Now, this is all I did for a year! I don’t know how I feel about the whole thing I guess you could say I’m apathetic about it. I’m not where I thought was going to be or want to be physically I still need to do arm exercises at home to regain strength and full use I do a ton of walking for my leg around my neighborhood or the mall (it’s walking distance from my house) I do get really frustrated being able to only use one arm to do everything however, I’ve gotten pretty good at it. But, this is not the life I want it’s like being trapped in your on body. I’ve been like this for a year. Sometimes I think people who haven’t had a stroke don’t realize how hard it is to give up your independence or give up the simple things you like to do. You quickly realize how much you took that stuff for granted and you want nothing more to do those boring mundane things again. I do look back and see how far I’ve come physically and I’m kinda impressed. There are things about this stroke I hate with in reason aside from all the physical set backs and disappointments. There is the emotional and personal stuff I deal with on a day to day level. I’ll talk to a few people I knew pre-stroke and when they’re not patronizing me or making awkward and phony conversation they’re treating me like as if a stroke is contagious (it’s not trust me.) they basically treat me kind of “wired”. Someone said to me,” Maybe they don’t know how to deal with it” well, that’s good if I was caught stealing from Claire’s or something. But, I’m the one that had the “tragedy” and I 'm the one who is dealing with the "pain"! Treat me the same way you did before June 17th 2007.With all that whining aside from this stroke I’m learning to adjust and move on. I used to think the phrase “count your blessings” was nothing more that tacky sentimental stuff you say to someone you don’t want to deal with. But, now I’m like,” Yeah, that makes sense in a way” I’m able to work at a job that you can do with one hand.(and watch movies) I have the support of my family a few key friends. Going through this has forced me to “grow up” emotionally and learning how to deal with things better. I’ve meet some wonderful people during this whole thing I’m learning the fine art of humility. I’ve learned what a church isn’t and what one is the same could be said about friends or relationships .A part of me is like, “ those are things I’m having to settle on” but, the truth is those are things that are helping me to recover from everything this past year. I have a strong feeling that all what I’m going through will be wrapping up very soon. And I need people as well as myself to continue to have absolute faith in God without any doubt that He will restore me back to good health! My stroke has been all I’ve known for a year it has been both a setback and advancement for me. But, I’m looking forward to the next thing in my life that will advance me to greater things as all this is wrapping up.

FYI

I just realized or someone pointed it out is what really what happend (Thanks Bunnie) that not everyone could post comments on my blog. Well, I fixed that so anyone can post a comment or two you don't need a Blogger account. So feel free to comment away.It's really no big deal but, I'd love to hear your feed back!
Manny